What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
