Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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