Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
