I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
