therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The air was thick with penises
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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