dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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