Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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