Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
