conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
