this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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