My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
