i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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