I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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