Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
