Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
