you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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