The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize