Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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