Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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