I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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