Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My pussy is not your playground.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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