At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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