they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
