Moan for me like Helen Keller
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
