Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
