Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
