"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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