I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We need a shit load of segways right now
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
