Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
soo... how was my night?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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