so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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