Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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