drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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