If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
