I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Still dying that you shit outside
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
