you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
