you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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