Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
