i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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