this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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