I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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