I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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