i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
