I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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