Just took my morning after pill in the library
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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