I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize