can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
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