Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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