So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
