like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
