Umm I'm too high to move.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
