and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Even my vagina gasped.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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