.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize