You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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