You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
