So drunk its hurt
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize