She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
