whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My first STD was from a foam party
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
