Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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