I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
whose ass print is on the piano?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
