just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
