Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
