Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
