I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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