Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
There's even glitter on my cock...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize