Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
