Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
